Dark's Burning Light
by TamChronin
Summary: It is the beginning. Clow Reed has lost his wife and tries to lose himself in the world of magic, driving himself beyond the limits. Will he find what he wants...or what he needs?
1. Prologue: The Valley

Warning: This story contains violence, angst, and various sexual situations, including homosexual sex or, as it is known in anime circles, yaoi. And, for those with more delicate sensibilities, I have to warn you it includes het situations too...sorry, Soku and Dave, but into all lives some het must fall, even if it's only in the moment of creation. I've tried to tone them down for you guys though. ~laughs~ 

Disclaimer: I do not own this story or the characters contained within. It's a work of fanfiction. I'm messing about in CLAMP's playground, but I'll put their toys back where I found them when I'm finished!

Author's Note: Yes, I said I'd wait to post this 'till after I had *finished* Silent Eyes, but due to a total lack of reviews on the last chapter I'm going back on my word. I don't like starving my public, and I'm almost finished with the first actual chapter of this already. Expect it in a few days. I'll be updating all my other fics soon too, but I'm a little slow right now. I caught a nasty cold. Very sorry, I'll write as fast as I can!

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And now, on with the story....

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Dark's Burning Light -- prologue

**__**

The Valley

"...for God is with thee..."

Her bright auburn hair teased by stray fingers of wind. I longed to plunge my own fingers into those depths again, pulling her closer to me and claiming her sweet lips with mine. She always smelled of almonds and cinnamon. I was powerless under her spell and enchanted by her warm brown eyes. I could never resist her, I never wanted to leave her side, and I would follow her anywhere she led. Almost anywhere.

__

"And yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..."

I remembered in vivid detail how it felt to hold her down and kiss away her hesitation and fears that first time. She had been so strong that I was unprepared for what an innocent flower she was. I had hurt her in my clumsy ignorance and as I kissed away her tears she simply held me close and told me that it was okay. You can only hurt the ones who love you, she said with her great wisdom. Pain is not the end of the world, it is something to grow from and work past, so if you don't hurry and help me get past this...her words haunted me. I then claimed her fully and tried...oh I tried...to bring her some pleasure despite the pain. Finally, finally, she let me know without words how I was succeeding and I let myself fall into the pleasure as well. Then she reached up to me, reached _inside_ of me, and as her mind touched mine we became the pleasure we had created together. We were lost in the moment more surely than the world that exists around us at any other time. How I wished it could never end....

__

"...ashes to ashes, dust to dust..."

Someone was placing a shovel in my numb hands, breaking the illusion I had so willingly lost myself in. I can't do this. I'm only twenty. I can't bury my wife.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Somehow I went through the motions of doing what was expected of me. Somehow I went on living. She would have wanted me to survive. Well, she would have wanted me to live, but I hoped that wherever she was she was satisfied to see me survive instead. That was all the world would get from me.

Tabitha Mae Reed. I may be only twenty, but she was only seventeen.

Barely my bride for a year. One year of heaven.

How long would I survive this hell?

That is when I returned to my parents, finally returned with a new determination and demanded, "Teach me all you know."

My mother gave me a sad sort of smile before embracing me in her gentle arms. "Does this mean you've decided who you want to learn from?"

I nodded curtly. "Yes. From both of you. I want to know everything there is about magic, and I don't want to miss a thing no matter where the knowledge comes from." If I skipped something, oriental or occidental, it would surely have the key I so desired. The key that would unlock the doors of death.

"Clow, you won't find what you want this way, but you might find what you need."

I pierced my father with an intense and determined gaze. "Trust me, the two are not mutually exclusive."

"It will be hard and it will take all your concentration."

"Good."


	2. Chapter One: Celestial Bodies

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Dark's Burning Light

**__**

Celestial Bodies

I lost track of everything as I plunged myself into my studies. Every time I started to give in to thoughts I didn't want I'd work twice as hard to memorize symbols or passages of books that could eventually help me in my goals. Every night when I'd finally go to sleep it was because I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. Every morning when I'd wake up I dove back into studying to drown out the nightmares that inevitably had woken me. Time lost its relevance, but unfortunately everything else did as well.

"Clow! You need to stop now. It's been a year. Tell me, son, how do you feel about her death?"

I glared at my mother, though her tone had been gentle. "Nothing has changed. She's still gone, and I still don't know enough to bring her back. I still love her and miss her just as intensely as the day I returned home."

"When you run away from your problems you find that as soon as you turn around they've kept pace with you. What you've accomplished has been admirable, but you can't keep going like this."

"Why not?"

"You'll die before you can try to save her."

I opened my mouth to retort, but stopped myself. Is that what I was seeking? Or was the truth that I sought the oblivion of my own death without being able to do it myself.

"Clow, you dishonor her memory by trying to erase what her absence really means to you. I know that's not what you want."

But, the pain was unbearable! I fell into myself, again drowning in misery. "I can't do this, mother. This feeling is too big for me. I've never lost anyone before, and I lost her of all people. It's too much for me."

"Son, I know you are overwhelmed by your loneliness, but you won't cure that by remaining alone. I think it might be time for an object lesson. Your father and I won't teach you another thing or allow you to touch another of our books and scrolls until we are satisfied. We want to make sure you're actually learning something from all the study you've done."

I sighed. "Is this necessary?"

She just sighed and shook her head. "Have you known me to ask the unnecessary? Come, this will not be too hard if you've truly studied both forms of magic as well as you seem to have. After that your time will be your own, I promise."

There was a tone of finality to her voice I didn't like, though there was also a kindness there that only she could manage. My mother. Only she could be so stern and determined yet caring and gentle at once. 

"Very well, what test do you have in mind?"

~~~~~@~~~~~

Balance. Yin and yang. Moon and sun. East and West. I walked the tightrope within my mind, calling forth powers that would tear me apart if I did not keep them perfectly in balance.

I knew immediately what the spell my mother wanted me to cast would do. I could have backed out at any time and that would have been the end...of everything. I could have said, no. I could have said I'd rather be alone with my pain. I could have said it was too hard. That would have ended my training.

Besides, I knew I could do this, even though I had actually surprised my parents by rising to the challenge. I knew I could do anything I set my mind to.

What was the worst that could happen anyway? If I wasn't willing to take risks, I didn't deserve to have her back.

Of course, I had thought the worst that could happen was failure and death.

I suppose I wasn't so wise back then.

~~~~~@~~~~~

When I finally opened my eyes on the physical plane I was greeted by two pairs of cat-like eyes. That's what I saw first as I lay on the ground, panting. Eyes. One set the clearest gold like the sun in the noon sky. The other the deepest violet/silver that spoke of the full moon glowing from on high.

I had done it, I had passed their test. These were the probing eyes of my creations, beings I had made with my own magic and imagination. There was genuine concern in those eyes, but I smiled to see it. Emotion. I had made them better than I expected.

The moment was broken by my mother's gentle laughter. "Well, aren't you going to say anything Clow? It's not polite to just lay there and stare."

I carefully rose to my feet. "Do I need to give them names?"

I knew it was a stupid question as soon as I saw her disapproving frown. "Ask them, Clow. They talk."

I blinked, startled.

"Do you have names?"

My two creations exchanged a glance, then both shook their heads. I looked at them, first one, then the other. One was a great beast like a lion with golden fur and wings. His golden eyes were both wise and playful. It was an imposing figure that would strike fear in any who would oppose this creature, but he also looked capable of warmth and fun. Or, maybe I was reading more than the surface showed, deeper than the eye could see. "You I think should be called Cerberus."

"Ke-ro-bear-os?" the beast sounded out carefully.

"Or that if you prefer," I laughed. He joined me in the laughter, coming closer and placing his head against my hand, begging to be petted. I complied as I contemplated his companion.

This was a being such as I had only seen in dreams. Brilliant white hair that glowed with soft violet highlights flowed down to cover a perfectly formed humanoid being. Well, more angelic than humanoid really with his snowy white wings. His bone structure was so delicate, but strong at the same time. He was built for flying. His skin was milky white and the picture of absolute perfection. My breath caught as I stared at him, unable to believe that I had been able to put to form the absolute ideal of.... I shook myself, casting aside that thought. He was the embodiment of the moon in the distant sky, beautiful and powerful, but utterly untouchable. "Moon," I uttered, but in my mother's native tongue of Chinese.

"Yue?" he repeated. Even his soft voice was reminiscent of that luminous orb that graced the night sky. "I think I like that name very much, Master."

My heart pounded, but I managed a calm smile. I turned the smile to my mother who seemed to be...waiting.

"I think I passed your test, Mother." If my smile turned a little smug, I think I deserved it.

Then she shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry, Clow. This is just the beginning of your test."

"The beginning?" I was stunned. "What else do I have to do to win your approval? I did what was asked of me!"

"You cast a spell." She shrugged. "Fine, well and good, but that only means you have been learning the words in the books you've lost yourself in the last year. I want to be sure you _understand_ what you have learned, and that will take more than just creating magical beings." She looked stern for a moment, but then she was motherly again as she smiled and looked at my creations. "You did do a superb job in their creation. I don't know any who could have done better."

"Fine, so what now?" I sounded peevish even to my own ears and nearly winced at my tone.

"That is for your father to say when we get back from our vacation."

"Vacation? Now?"

"Indeed. I haven't been home in a very long time, and I thought we'd take the scenic route."

"What? No magic? That will take at least a year!"

"At least." She didn't sound in the least bit repentant.

I sighed, realizing I had no choice in the matter. "You expect me to do no studying for an entire year or more while you two are gone?"

Her bright brown eyes twinkled with mirth. "I wouldn't say that. There are other things to study than books."

And that was the only answer I could get from either of them before they left.

~~~~~@~~~~~

I didn't know what to do with my creations. I realized that as soon as my mother left the room and left me alone with them. We all stood in silence for a bit, examining each other. Finally I realized that my eyes kept drawing back to the angel, Yue, and I only just realized he was covered only by those long strands of pale hair. "The first thing to do then is find you some clothing, Yue."

"Master?"

"It would be inappropriate otherwise."

Cerberus moved to Yue's side. "Do I need clothing too?"

I laughed. It was my first laugh in a year and it felt foreign to my mouth, but it was a genuine laugh and I couldn't hold it in. "No, you have fur to cover yourself."

He growled a little, piercing me with a golden glare. "Why does _he_ get hair and I'm stuck with fur? That isn't very fair, is it?"

The laughter was getting harder to contain, but I tried to answer him seriously. "It's the way things are. The two of you have wings and feathers, but I do not."

At this Cerberus got a gleam in his eye. "Yes, but you have hair and clothes. I have feathers and fur, and Yue has feathers and hair. This way it's all fair."

I was stunned by his logic, no matter how it didn't apply in the real world. "Okay, I'll find clothing for you too, Cerberus."

He considered it, then haughtily refused. "No thank you. I don't want to cover my glorious fur."

At this Yue looked startled. "My hair is glorious too, isn't it? I don't want to wear clothing if I'll have to cover my hair."

This was getting out of hand. I shook my head, trying to calm them both by remaining calm myself. "Don't worry," I soothed. "I pull my hair back so it does not get in the way when I do spells, but look--" I pulled my hair free and let it fall around me. "I don't cover my own hair, so you won't have to either."

Yue looked delighted, but Cerberus was peevish again. "If Yue gets clothes it's not fair again."

"You just said you don't want clothes. You don't want to cover your fur, remember?"

"If you can wear clothes that don't cover your hair, I want clothes that won't cover my fur."

Yue tried to be reasonable with his fellow creation. "But, your fur is everywhere Cerberus."

"I am Keroberus, and that's not the point! I want something special too!"

I knelt in front of him, stroking behind his ears and looking him in the eye. "You are special. You don't need anything to show it. You are like a work of art, and I am the artist. If you want, I could make you some golden armor with magic jewels, but they would only be adornments to your perfection."

This placated the beast, but now the angel pouted. I couldn't win it seemed.

"Yue, you are every bit as perfect."

"Then why do you want to cover my skin, but not his fur?"

I groaned. "You look too human to not wear clothes. I said before, it would be inappropriate."

"Cerberus is right, that's not fair."

"You're right, it's not fair. But that's the way things are."

"Why?"

I think my frustration was starting to show. "Just because."

They both shut up and nodded, looking at me like I was about to explode. I know I felt like I was.

"Master," Yue began softly, cautiously. "Your robes are mostly black, like your hair. May I have robes that are mostly white like mine?"

Finally, finally, I relaxed and smiled. "I don't have any right now, but I will make you some. I think white would suit you perfectly, my angel."

And this was just a hint of the year to come....

~~~~~@~~~~~

Author's Note: I'm moving the notes to the end of the story so you can get right to the action. I hope this works better for everyone.

This is my birthday present to myself. Happy Birthday to me! (Nov. 25th) Okay, okay, it's not a mushy Clow and Yue scene, but it's the next best thing! Clow being driven insane by Kero and Yue acting like kids! As the mother of a two-year-old, I sympathize with him in this chapter. It won't stay that way though! ~chuckles~

So, to the usual suspects, Six, Peacewish, and Kira, thank you for reading so many of my stories and sticking with me through so much! It's nice to open a fic with familiar faces. Also to Chiruri and Crystalline, I hope I helped with my reviews, and thank you for the kind words about my own fic. (I also hope I didn't sound like I was putting on airs...I just really wanted to help since you asked for it...) Thank you all, give yourself some huge hugs, and I hope you've enjoyed this part as much as I did.


	3. Chapter Two: Dangerously Innocent

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Dark's Burning Light

**__**

Dangerously Innocent

It was with great trepidation that I watched my parents leave. They wasted no time either, having packed and planned as soon as I had agreed to cast the spell in the first place. I suppose they would have left if I had died too, if only to bring the news to the half of my family that wouldn't have appeared immediately. It didn't do to dwell in things that did not come to pass though, so I returned to the secrecy and comfort of the family home and put those thoughts behind me.

No sooner had I closed the doors behind me than I heard a crash in the kitchen. It was followed by a roar and some other, indistinguishable sound. As soon as I ran in there I saw Cerberus grab a bag of flour in his mouth gently, then throw it at a surprised Yue. While Yue was distracted Cerberus began licking a white powdery substance off of himself, cleaning his golden fur in the manner that instinct would direct him. I groaned as I observed the mess. I should have been paying more attention to Yue specifically though. I didn't have time to utter a sound as the angel observed his counterpart and then brought an arm hesitantly toward his face and started to lick....

"No," I gasped, cringing inwardly at what I knew would not be the most pleasant first experience with food or taste.

Yue's face went blank in surprise and his mouth hung open in obvious displeasure. I hurried to get him a glass of water to wash it down, ignoring the loud purr coming from Cerberus. Yue cautiously drank, gaining a little enthusiasm when he realized that the pasty taste was actually leaving.

"Dare I ask what happened in here?"

They both started talking at once, Cerberus giving a boisterous and loud rendition of events while Yue spoke softly and carefully, but just as insistently. Neither would accept any blame, and the only events they could seem to agree on were that Yue had struck first, throwing the contents of the sugar bowl at Cerberus, and Cerberus had retaliated, as I had witnessed myself. I couldn't even make out the reason the fight had begun as they both spoke at once. I was very surprised to realize that Yue's voice was rising to match his counterpart's. Cerberus had started out loud in the first place and had gained volume, so the change in the quiet angel was quite pronounced. There was no way I could over-shout them, so I simply walked out of the room.

They both followed, growing louder to try to gain my attention. Finally I covered my ears and shook my head, trying to show them that I refused to listen.

In unison they shouted.

"**Master Clow!!!**"

As they filled their lungs again I finally managed to get a word in. "Stop."

Each looked argumentative, obviously trying to defend themselves against the words of the other. I held a hand up and glared.

"I really don't care who started it, or why. Please stop shouting at me."

Mumbled apologies came from each of them and twin looks of devastated shame settled in their eyes. It was Yue that actually spoke softly and put words to the looks that bewildered me.

"Master, did we fail you by yelling? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...."

The tears in his eyes made them shine like stars before slipping down his face and leaving trails in his still floured skin. "Fail you? Why would you think...?"

"You were so mad. You yelled at us."

Cerberus nodded solemnly. "It was scary."

"I didn't yell," I explained with a furrowed brow. "I didn't even raise my voice."

Their expressions only grew more remorseful at my correction.

"Neither of you failed," I explained gently, wanting to do anything to erase the pain in their eyes. "I was a little frustrated that you were yelling at me, but that's all. You two aren't in trouble, but the kitchen will need cleaned. The two of you will need to wash up as well--" I broke off as I saw Cerberus lick himself again. It wasn't ideal, but I could hardly fit him in our bath. It was spacious, but he was BIG!

Yue was looking at Cerberus with a faintly scandalized expression. "How can you stand that?"

Cerberus looked up innocently. "It's delicious. Sweet. You should try some."

Yue backed away slightly.

I laughed.

"Yue, that is all well and good for him, but there is a better way for you to clean yourself. Follow me."

I walked slowly up the stairs, realizing that sitting in a tub would only get my angel so clean...he needed water washing over him to carry off all the flour that now settled in his hair. With a smile I realized I had an excuse to use the magic washing room off of my parent's bedroom instead of the bath I usually used. Generations ago one of the family's most creative sorcerers had washed in a waterfall and had wanted to be able to do that at any time. He had harnessed the water magic to create a magical shower, then fire magic to heat it to just the right temperature. It was one of our family treasures.

Not that I expected Yue to appreciate that much of it. He was still too new to the world. He wouldn't know exactly what a stroke of genius it was to come up with something like that. That wasn't important.

"I'll start the water, you must get undressed." It was a simple incantation to start the water and warm it, then I turned to leave.

"What do I do now, Master?"

"What? You get under the water of course. Then you clean yourself off while the water clears it all away..." My words drifted off as I realized he had no idea what to do.

I wanted to run from the room screaming. I could explain patiently what he had to do, but some part of me, some evil and very persistent part of me, wanted to simply undress and show him. And a few other things. Yue was too perfect. And I had been so lonely....

And that was exactly why I had to behave myself. I wasn't thinking clearly and I knew it.

"Step under the falling water, Yue. Be careful, the tile will be slippery." I carefully averted my eyes, then drew the curtain over the opening. I stood just outside and waited, frowning at the direction my thoughts took. I grabbed a small wash cloth and handed it in to Yue, careful that only my arm made it in. "Use this cloth to wipe away the flour, especially where the water doesn't fall directly."

The scrap of fabric was plucked from my hand and I pulled my arm back quickly. I tried to make sure I gave him enough time to get most of the flour off. I tried not to time it by use of my imagination that seemed to be working in overdrive. I was about to walk further away, to the door maybe, but I instantly knew that Yue had gotten his legs tangled in his hair and was about to fall. I had just enough time to jump in and catch him before he fell....

"Are you okay?"

"How did you catch me so fast? You weren't even looking?"

I smiled, lost in his innocent and trusting eyes as he wrapped his arms around me for balance. He pulled himself up against me, but I could still not let go. My heart was pounding and I couldn't breathe. When he stood up he was so much closer. I couldn't move at all and I didn't want to break this moment. I found words coming from my mouth, answering his question, but I hadn't even thought about them. "I don't need to look to see. I couldn't let you just fall."

God! He blushed and I could feel the heat emanating from him. My own skin was burning in response, every inch of him that touched me setting my very soul on fire. I had to let go, I just had to.

Somehow I finally did.

I couldn't leave yet though. "I will wash your hair for you, Yue."

His smile was a sweet torture. "Thank you, I would appreciate that."

It was so hard to concentrate on that chore. As I gathered his long hair his entire body was exposed and I realized I still wore my robes. They were already drenched. I left them on despite the weight. I used every ounce of willpower I possessed to concentrate on what I was doing and not watch the shivers that occasionally traveled down his spine at the attention I was paying him.

Oh, and believe me when I say I shivered too.

I bowed my head as my fingers twined through his hair and spread the soap through the tremendous length of it. In the end I was kneeling at his feet and there I could feel how I lost control of my emotions. I barely gained control of my voice enough to say, "Now tilt your head back and put your hair directly under the stream of water."

I watched the soap slowly wash down and away from the silvery strands, and still I did not stand up. I couldn't. I remembered washing Tabitha's hair for her on our wedding night to help her relax and trust me. Her sunset colored tresses were nothing like the silken strands of silver before me, but the memory had come to me so strongly that I was overcome.

I don't know how long it took me to realize that Yue was kneeling in front of me, trying to look me in the eye. "Master," his velvety voice called softly. "Are you crying?"

Was I?

I inhaled deeply, standing up. "No, I just got some soap in my eye. I was trying to blink it away." Did he see through the lie? "My face is only wet because of the water bouncing up into my face from the floor." This time I added a reassuring smile and hoped it reached my eyes. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, wishing it would just go away. I didn't need this. Not right now. Not like this. I felt so guilty and disloyal for the thoughts I had been entertaining for this...this...this creation before me.

What right did I have to think about him like this? I didn't.

I stood, really feeling the weight of my wet robes now. It was a reminder not to lose myself like this anymore. I was foolish, mooning over my untouchable angel.

And I'd have to trail water all the way into my bedroom for my foolishness.

No. With control I didn't know I had I stripped off the offending clothes, turned off the water, and calmly handed Yue a towel. "Dry yourself off," I instructed calmly. My voice didn't react. My body didn't react. I just turned and walked out of the room after draping my clothes where they could dry safely. Then I walked to my room, still surrounded by the strange calm, and locked myself in. Only then did I allow myself to really cry. It was a thing, like laughter, that I had thought would be impossible after her death. 

~~~~~@~~~~~

Author's Note: Yes, only one section to this chapter. Strange, isn't it? But such a full section....

Thank you to everyone who sent me birthday wishes! It was the best birthday ever. ~grins~ Each of my reviewers are important to me! Thank you guys! Six Underground, Kira, Peacewish, L-chan, Tasumi Ashiru, Forsaken Tenshi, and Lady Kazune Kikenshi, thank you from the bottom of my heart for the kind reviews. I hope that you find this chapter up to the standard I have tried to set for myself. You guys deserve it. J hehe (I've turned into *such* the little egotist, ne?)


	4. Chapter Three: Another Year

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Dark's Burning Light

**__**

Another Year

I couldn't withdraw. I couldn't pull away. I couldn't hide from myself or from them. I had been left alone by my parents for a year with my grief and their books, so it was hard to adjust to suddenly being depended on by two such innocent beings on my own. I had to teach them everything and spent nearly every waking hour with them.

It was one of the happiest years of my life actually.

Oh, I was frazzled and at my wit's end, but...how can I describe how rewarding it was? I taught them to read and write. Cerberus had a hard time with writing, but he became determined after enough taunts from Yue. His handwriting will never be spectacular I'm afraid, but it was legible. Quite a feat to accomplish with paws instead of hands.

I taught them magic and combat as well as I could, and this is what took most of our year. Not that it was difficult for either of them...indeed, they were made for these things. What took the time was a desire to get these things perfect. There were long hours of practice. There were longer hours of play that doubled as practice. Throughout it all I was learning that I could still live and enjoy life without _her._

~~~~~@~~~~~

After the shower incident with Yue I had begun thinking that there should be an easier way to get these two clean. I was more worried about Cerberus getting dirty actually--Yue held himself more dignified and even refused food as unnecessary after the incident with the flour. (Yes, I consider that entire day a series of incidents in my mind. The incident where my parents left. The incident with the flour. The incident with Yue in the shower. The incident where I cried the first time after her death. The incident where I had to teach them _how_ to clean the kitchen...the list goes on.)

I came up with a few concepts modifying the creation of the guardians, elemental magic, and symbolic magic...including some sympathetic magic. If the energy and creature could be contained in a card form, this would keep it from escaping, make it convenient to carry with me and call upon at will, and be concealable as well. I grew attached to the idea of a card containing such strong magic, letting it rest when not needed...and soon I was drawing sketches of what I would need to do to create these things.

After a month the first Clow Card was created. The Bubbles. She was an adorable personality, cute and fun, with a wicked sense of humor. She immediately loved Cerberus and fell for his laugh in a way only she ever understood. I would ask her to clean him and she would do her job thoroughly and well, but with many tickles to madden my sun beast.

Bubbles was soon followed by The Libra, which I used in the ever increasing disputes between Yue and Cerberus. I was an only child so I had never dealt directly with sibling rivalry before this, but Tabitha had told me horror stories about her family life that gave me incentive to find a solution before my creations got too out of hand. It weighed each of their sides, finding the worth and the truth through magic so I made no mistakes. It ended a lot of arguments as soon as I brought the card out after they had seen it in action a few times. I wouldn't be surprised if it ended arguments before I became aware of them in the first place. All I know is I had a lot more peace and quiet after that.

The Change card was also created around that time. I never used it. It was my last resort card if Libra could not settle the differences between my very child-like creations. I was glad I never used it, though I suppose it would have been amusing to see each of them stuck in the body of the other to "walk a mile" in each other's shoes. The Move card was also an early creation. I constantly left my glasses behind while I paced across the library as I read, so I lazily used Move to hand me my glasses, or carry other small objects to me that were out of reach. It was a convenience card, though I could hear my mother's voice berate me for my waste of magic each time I used it as such.

I was teaching Yue to cook when the idea came to me for the Sweet card. She would turn any inedible experiment he tried into a delight so I could eat each of his attempts without discouraging his budding talent. He was so emotional and easily discouraged, I couldn't bear to see him hurt, so Sweet saved my taste buds and spared his feelings many times in the early days.

At the end of the year I was working on the Create card, and I'm ashamed to admit that the initial purpose behind the card was to turn my favorite stories into reality for a short time. That is when my parents returned home, and they found me bent over this card, trying to get it perfect and infuse just the right amount of energy into it.

~~~~~@~~~~~

"More creations, son?" It was my father, suddenly standing over my shoulder. I jumped, barely managing to keep from slipping up and ruining the card. I carefully cleaned off the brush, capped the ink, then set everything in a safe place before I turned around to face him. I bowed to him respectfully, realizing as I saw him just how much I had missed my parents.

I was caught in a bone-crushing bear hug such as I hadn't felt since I was a child. "Damn it, boy, I had enough of bows from your mother's family! Now, tell me what you have done."

I had never seen him so enthusiastic about anything. Well, anything to do with me. He was usually so reserved, keeping himself under tight control. What had happened while they were gone?

He listened calmly while I rambled on and on about the last year and everything I had accomplished. He was so composed as I listed all my triumphs and all the difficult lessons I had been through, he would simply nod when I told him stories about some cute thing or another my guardians had done. Finally he stood, frowning slightly. "You're very proud of these things, aren't you?"

It stung to hear him use the word "things" like that, but I kept smiling as if I hadn't noticed. "I have done a lot more than I thought I would. I thought you would be proud that I've been able to do so much...."

The words hung in the air between us. I found him to be quite unreadable until he suddenly stood and started pacing.

"It's a colossal waste of your magic and energy, Clow. I'm disappointed in you. Yes, you've learned a lot, but I think you should rid yourself of your mistakes and start over."

My heart had stopped and my eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. "Rid myself--" I sputtered.

"Of your mistakes," he finished. "Yes. And start over."

"But, these cards are alive! Sentient."

"Quite. As are the guardians. They're flawed. I think you could do better if you set your mind to it right now, and if you persist in this card nonsense, you could create some that are more useful."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You want me to do what exactly?"

"Don't tell me that a year of not studying has made you daft. Here you were bragging about all you've done and learned without the benefit of your mother and I standing over you and handing you the right books, but you can't understand what I'm saying?"

I felt like my soul had been left out in a blizzard. "I'm afraid I do understand what you were saying, but I simply can not believe my ears. You are suggesting I kill the beings I created just so I could make something better? Living creatures, and you think I could conveniently throw them away like so much trash? _I poured my soul into creating them!_"

I could feel Cerberus and Yue coming closer, responding to my distress. I shuddered, dreading the thought of them hearing my own father saying such things. Still, I wanted them by my side now more than at any point in the last year for comfort and assurance.

"You're too attached to bits of fluff and imagination brought to life with only magic." He was becoming more animated, raising his voice until I knew Yue and Cerberus had to be able to hear him. I winced as he went on. "There is none of your soul in these creations, and it's silly to think of them like that. Have you forgotten why it is you came to us, two years ago, begging to learn all the magic you could? A year ago you didn't even want these guardians of yours. They were a test your mother forced upon you. Now you stand here as if they're your favorite toys?"

Each word cut into me like a knife. I could only imagine what effect it would have on the young and minds of my guardians as they finally reached the door to the library where I had taken to creating the cards. Especially when he added:

"As long as you are so weak and unable to follow my instructions, I refuse to allow you to learn from either me or your mother. You are settling for less than your best and allowing sentiment to cloud your judgment. You'll never be able to bring your wife back as long you aren't willing to make some sacrifices."

I wasn't looking at my father. I was looking at the two beings standing in the doorway trying to make sense of what he had said about them--and about me. I could see Cerberus's brows furrow in confusion. That was incidental to the hurt look on Yue's face as he whispered softly, "Wife?"

Their existence was being threatened, but he fixated on that? Why?

I whirled on my father, a cold anger washing over me. "No. If those are your conditions I will learn somewhere else. They are alive, they are innocents, and they are _mine._ You will not touch them, and nothing you can say will convince me to trade one life for another, no matter how I miss her. She would hate being alive under those conditions."

But a part of me, deep within, was begging Tabitha for forgiveness. I just could not trade their love, including the cards, for her love. It was tearing me in half, but the idea horrified me.

"She wouldn't have to know."

Were those tears on my face?

"I would know, and I could not live with myself. I will not stop my quest, but there are lines I will not cross and if that dooms me to failure, I can wait until the next lifetime to see her again."

With that I turned away, walking stiffly out of the room and pulling my beloved creations with me. Cerberus looked protective, but Yue looked more like he needed protecting. I never, at any moment in the past year, wanted more to pull him into my arms and kiss away his concerns.

"Clow!"

I didn't bother turning around to look at him, but I paused out of respect, showing him I was still listening.

"You are serious about this decision of yours son?"

I nodded, then started walking again.

"Come back here and sit down. We have a lot to discuss. You've passed my test."

~~~~~@~~~~~

The day was long and I had studied long into the night. I was walking from the library to my room, a small candle lighting my way. I passed Yue's room and heard thrashing around and mutters as if from half of a conversation. I carefully opened the door to find him in the throes of a nightmare. I had a sinking feeling that it had been inspired by overhearing my father's "test". I couldn't think of anything else that would distress him so.

I crossed to his bed, carefully setting down the candle on his bedside table then sat on the edge of his bed. I reached out to him, trying to soothe him through the veil of his dreaming. He calmed, rolling toward me with a sigh. I didn't move though. I stayed there, staring, brushing stray hairs away from his face. As I watched him I thought about the day.

Father had given me many more books to look through. He had apologized for his words, reinforced by the gentle reassurances of my mother that everything had been done this way for good reason. Cerberus had grumbled a bit, but had forgiven them easily for suggesting that such a magnificent beast could be less than perfect.

Yue had shrugged and pretended that it didn't matter since it was all part of a silly ruse. But I could tell, by how he refused to show emotion, that it still bothered him deeply. I should have been expecting bad dreams and done more to reassure him somehow, but I didn't know where to start since he refused to say a word.

I rose with a heavy sigh, but as I reached for the candle a soft voice held me back.

"Master?"

His eyes were open, gleaming in the night. I didn't understand how he could possibly look more perfect while awake when he was the epitome of perfection while sleeping. I carefully sat down beside him again, smiling gently at his careful hesitation. "What is it, Yue?"

"Am I real?"

What? I blinked in surprise. "Of course you're real. I don't understand why--"

"Then how could your father even suggest that you could undo us so easily, so casually?"

"I explained, it was a test."

"A test that most people would not have passed. I know I'm not human, and most humans would not hesitate to trade my existence for that of a human. Otherwise it would not have been a test. Your father doubted that you would pass it, or he would not have tried."

My face slipped into a thoughtful frown as I reached out and brushed at the soft strands of his hair again. So soft, so beautiful like spun moonbeams in the middle of the darkest night. I didn't know what to say to him. "It doesn't matter to me that you're not human. You are important to me."

"But, if I'm not human, what am I? I'm a construct, a trick of magic."

"You are much more than a construct. I meant it when I said I poured my soul into making you and Cerberus. Yue, you are a work of art. More than that, you and you alone are my masterpiece. Magic is my medium for creating works of art, and you are my most prized creation."

The words had just flowed from me from somewhere deep in my soul that I had tried to keep buried. They were the highest truth within me, expressing how I cherished him and, indeed, favored him above all else. It had been Yue I had been terrified of losing. It had been Yue I could not trade for Tabitha. I felt damned by that decision even after finding out that it had not been a real choice I was being forced into.

"You won't unmake me? You won't set me aside to start over again?"

I could no longer resist what was in my heart. I pulled him close to me, holding him and stroking his back reassuringly. "I could never do that to you. I would die before I set you aside, I promise."

He seemed somewhat reassured, but then he pulled away enough to look me in the eye. "You never said you had a wife. Why?"

The question I had been dreading, but expecting. "I try not to think about her. I think about her all the time actually, but it hurts so much that to talk about her is...talking about it is so much harder...I don't even know how to talk about it really."

He didn't press me on it. He put his head against my shoulder again and wrapped soothing arms around me, snuggling close. I was so thankful at that moment that the ruby glow of the candlelight didn't change the silver glow of his tresses. Thinking of her...talking about her even this much...had brought tears to my eyes despite my best efforts.

"You loved her," he murmured softly against my skin.

"More than life itself," I admitted softly. I was blinking hard now, keeping the tears at bay with increasing difficulty.

"Not more than my life?"

"Never." I tightened my embrace around him, realizing the depth of the pain I would suffer at losing him. It left a hollow feeling in my chest to think about my angel not being there. A year, one entire year...it was such a long time to get to love someone, but such a short time to spend together. That's when I realized I loved my Yue just as much, just as deeply and desperately as I had loved Tabitha. Just as much as I had loved my wife. I could never trade one for the other, but I could never have both.

The tears wouldn't wait another moment and I tried to pull away, but it was too late. He saw my face, he saw the shimmer of my eyes, and he saw the first tear fall. His hand raised to wipe away the first tear, but was met by the fall of many more and I wanted to turn and hide in shame that he would see me crying. He wouldn't let me go, trapping me with the gentle embrace of his one arm and the captivating beauty of his gaze.

"You are too perfect for me, Yue. I need to go. I--I need sleep. I shouldn't be here."

"Master," he said in his disarmingly gentle voice. I was trapped there with that simple utterance. "It is you who are too perfect for me."

"Never."

He bowed his head. "I'm sorry, I'm ashamed to admit this, but I'm afraid to be alone."

"Why would you be afraid?"

"I'm afraid because I don't feel real."

I felt like I was in a trance, performing a ritual. I couldn't stop, I was reciting words that would lead to an inevitable conclusion. "How can I assure you that you are real?"

"I--I don't know. I feel more real when you are near...."

"Would this make you feel more real," I said, bending closer to him.

He could see the intent in my eyes. Those erotic, exotic cat's eyes widened and gleamed silver as he realized what I meant. I gave him every opportunity to back away.

"Yes," he answered, then met me half way.

Our lips met with an electric feel. I couldn't breathe, but my heart was beating as if I had been running. Just like with Tabitha. And yet, not. I had known this pounding passion only with her before...I knew what to expect, what I was feeling, but it was also different, and I could not explain that difference. Such a powerful attraction, but the emotions within me were so much more turbulent now. I was overcome.

I tasted him, I caressed him, I reveled in the difference between him and my first love. Still with tears in my eyes I pulled him fully against me on the bed, delving my tongue into his mouth and losing myself in the soft sweetness I found there. His hands were undressing me, casting aside all barriers between us and I let him touch me everywhere he wanted while my own hands explored his perfection.

"Master," he gasped some time later.

I shook my head, not liking how that sounded right now. "My name is Clow," I managed to correct him with some difficulty considering the circumstances.

"Clow," he said hesitantly, trying it out, and I simply moaned in my pleasure. He recited my name again with more assurance a bit later, then later still my name on his lips came out as if he had been made to say my name like that.

I was out of control, feeling all emotions and none in one instant, when I let out something between a sob and a scream. "_Yue!_"

~~~~~@~~~~~

Author's Note: Er...that was a little more citrus flavored than I was expecting! EEP! They tied me up and MADE me do it...I was just going to have Clow sleep with Yue without anything happening, but all the sudden...eep! And there was nothing I could do. Gee, I hope you all don't mind.

Sorry though, the rating on this one prevents me from giving you more detail than that. ~wicked grin~ Maybe when I get off my lazy butt and post it on my site I'll turn it into a lemon. Or I might not. Don't know yet.

Oh, don't worry, there's plenty more STORY ahead. I have evil plans for them. Very evil plans.

Thank you to Peacewish and Dark Ice Angel for giving me permission to be an egotist. I'll try not to abuse the privilege. All other reviewers as well, Babybattlefaerie, Kira (serious Clow envy time!), Six Underground (I hope the love doesn't feel rushed in this chapter, but I didn't want to get bogged down in detail since I have a LOT of ground to cover), Askani Blue (I know, I'm mean), Lady Kazune Kikenshi, and Forsaken Tenshi. Thank you thank you thank you thank you!!! I hope this chapter is worthy! More to come ASAP, I promise.


	5. Chapter Four: Obligations

****

Dark's Burning Light

**__**

Obligations

The days that followed were like a gift. Still, I couldn't shake loose of my memories and feel that I had abandoned my first love. Silver strands of hair running through my fingers sometimes burned bright red in my mind and misty violet eyes at times turned a rich cinnamon brown. I loved them both and couldn't decide who was more important in my heart.

And so, I drove myself mercilessly in trying to create new cards. That is what inspired me to create the four element cards. I felt I was being torn in many different directions, so it seemed fitting to embody the points of the compass with the elements of each. My parents were suitably impressed as they watched, but I didn't do it for them. I did it for myself.

Each night I lost track of time, too busy to notice the world passing around me.

Each night it was Yue who pulled me out of the magic's thrall and reminded me to sleep. I could deny him nothing.

"Clow, you've been spending much more time with Yue than with Cerberus. Your poor sun guardian was whining about it this morning. However, he also mentioned that most of that time was spent while the two of you are asleep?"

My mother's eyes pierced me, stripping me of any lies or excuses I might have come up with.

"You do an amazing impression of a fish at times, son."

I firmly shut my mouth, resolving not to open it until I thought of something to say.

Finally my mother sighed. "Just be careful." She stood to walk away.

"Mother, I started making the cards so that some day I can conquer death."

She nodded. "I remember."

"I will do it."

"I believe you can. And yet, that might not be the answer you seek."

"I want her back more than anything in the world."

She nodded sagely, patting me on the shoulder as she walked past. "You still must live your life, and much time will pass before you are ready to reach your goal. Do what you must, but don't stay stuck in one place."

I stood up then, wrapping her in a rare hug. I didn't want to think about what we were really talking about. Decisions could wait and conclusions would come at a later date. She was concerned, but she accepted the whole flawed logic of who I was at that time, just as she always accepted me. I then turned back to the card I was working on and started clearing everything away. Cerberus was my creation too, I could not neglect him.

~~~~~@~~~~~

It had become a day of pure cheerful joy. Yue watched off to the side, unbelieving, as Cerberus and I simply played. I felt like a child again and laughed with the clarity the delight brought to my mind. All that mattered at the moment was that moment. Yue was teaching me to love again, but Cerberus taught me to live again. I swore to myself to do this more often.

In retrospect, I don't think I managed it often enough.

More cards were created and the world stood still for five years while I indulged. My parents had to admit that I had surpassed them in my abilities finally. My father was more reluctant to admit that I had outstripped him, but I suspect Mother softened the blow and soon they both simply watched with pride. One last test was given to me that took my concentration for a year. My parents worked together to "play" with the weather and I had to come up with a card to beat them. Thus I created three cards that seemed similar, but simply varied in degree. Cloud, Rain, and Storm joined the ranks of my growing collection of cards.

Finally my mother smiled, admitting defeat. Still--"Why didn't you simply use your element cards together? Water and Fire could have proved as effective together as Storm alone."

I shook my head. "Some day I'll be able to use them together I'm sure, but I would not want to lose control of either of those cards, just in case. I don't think that would happen, but I'd rather be safe when I can."

"You would have passed faster if you had taken more risks."

"Some risks are not worth taking. Not when there's another choice. If time had been of the essence, I would have done all I could."

"The time you took has effected the trees and plants here though."

That is when I pulled out two other cards I had worked on in that time. Wood and Flower. In no time at all the landscape was returned to the splendor it had always maintained.

"Do you have a card for everything?" My mother gave me an incredulous look.

I gave her a wicked grin in response. "Not yet."

We laughed about it, but the laughter stabbed my heart as I thought of one thing. I didn't have a card to bring back my Tabitha.

Could I change that?

"Excuse me, mother, I have an idea."

"Oh no, before you get wrapped up in another card, I have news for you." With a flourish she pulled out a piece of paper. It had a signature of magic about it and obviously came from her family. People I hardly knew because of the distance involved. Mother's countenance grew drawn, serious, and her shoulders slumped wearily. "My brother has suffered a terrible accident. He will not be able to sire a child even if he survives, and that is in serious doubt right now."

I gasped in shock. "Oh, no! I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

"You and I are leaving tomorrow."

"Me? Why?"

"Because you are the last male with magic of the Li blood that has any potential for having a child. The blood of the family depends on you."

"Mother, I'm an outsider. That's a fact that they hammered into me the last time you took me there. I was only ten and they made sure it was a point I would not miss or forget."

I tried not to let bitterness bleed through, I really did, but my mother could tell. "I know. Things have changed though, and necessity dictates actions that are not normally acceptable at other times."

"You said it would just be you and me? What about Father?"

She shook her head. "This is family business."

"Then what am I going to do there? He shouldn't be excluded if I'm not." I was being stubborn and we both knew it.

"Maybe I should say, it is blood family only. Please, let's not go over the same arguments over and over again."

That was, in essence, what led up to my returning to China.

~~~~~@~~~~~

We went by magic. When we arrived we were met by people I had vague recollections of, and they all wore identical expressions of stoic formality. Yue and Cerberus flanked Mother and me as we walked in to see my uncle. He had lost a leg entirely and was being treated for infection, though I couldn't see how extensive it was because he was wrapped in blankets. His face gave away some of the pain he must have been suffering, but not by his expression. He was pale and sweating, and his eyes were slightly glazed, but his self control was absolute.

His gaze remained placid even as he looked me over. "So, you are the one that seeks to replace me?"

I was startled. "No, Uncle. I would never--"

"If you don't, then who will lead the clan? Very selfish of you. I know you could not have created those two stunning guardians without the magical knowledge imparted to only those of the Li Clan. Think upon that when you meet with the elders."

"I am supposed to want to lead people who will resent me for it?"

"You will have power over people who sought to take power from you years ago. Doesn't that appeal to you?"

I frowned, unsure what he was trying to get at. If this was some sort of a test it was too obvious. "No. I will fulfill any obligations I have, but I would rather my life simply be my own."

He laughed, but it was the sound of dry leaves in the autumn wind. There was no life to it, no joy, and no real emotion. "Sister, what kind of man did you raise? Any normal human would be lying to utter those words, but he was not. He either deludes himself, or he simply does not have the passion necessary to lead these people."

I gasped in surprise. What was he looking for? I couldn't understand how his mind was working and why he said and asked the things he did.

"Uncle, I have never been one to seek power for the sake of power. I don't crave recognition for what I do. Everything I do is for a clear and specific purpose and I am happy this way."

"You are selfish in your idealism."

"There's nothing selfish about it! All I have done has been for her, and you can not lecture m--"

"Enough!"

People stood around us, staring. I remembered who it was I had been yelling at; not merely my uncle, but also the head of the Li Clan and a mage with many years more experience than I had. Even bedridden, I owed him more respect than I had shown. Maybe especially in this circumstance since his life was at risk. I bowed low, showing him the honor I should have shown to begin with.

"We shall simply wait and see," he finally said.

With that he closed his eyes and we were swiftly ushered away.

I could tell that no matter what events would bring, the next few days would be interesting at the very least.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Author's Note: Ah, I'm so sorry! This should NOT have taken me so long to write, but I wasn't sure how I wanted to do it exactly. Now that Clow is in China I know where I'm at though, and I know what events have to happen. I'm just so wrapped up in Shades of Discovery--I'm only human, I write where the reviews are. ~sweatdrops~

I have many thanks to give to my reviewers, all of whom are more patient than I deserve. Rei Eien, the evil plans will be revealed soon, I needed to set things up with this chapter though. Askani Blue, thank you for your patience, but if you wanted me to get this out sooner you could have told me to work on this instead of Shades at ANY point in time. ~laughs~ Forsaken Tenshi, I apologize for taking so long since you *did* tell me to work on this one every time I asked. Kira...how can I thank you for all your support? There aren't enough words in the language to tell you how much I appreciate all of your reviews! Lady Kazune Kikenshi, this is me, continuing...so where is yours? ~hugs~ L-chan, you tempt me to leave Touya writing all to you and Askani Blue--which would be good news for this fic, but bad news for fans of Shades. ~laughs~ Thank you for all the kind reviews! Soul, I totally agree that Clow and Yue are so cute, that's why I'm writing this! ~grins~ Lady Zephyros, this is done now! Does that count? Tasumi Ashiru, Clow's relationship with Yue *will* develop further, despite a lack of relationship bits in this chapter. Peacewish, yes, it's like characters have a mind of their own at times and the author is just along for the ride. ~sigh~ That might explain why this chapter took so long. Six Underground, I LOVED YOUR REVIEW! Seriously! Thank you for your kind words and letting me know I'm going in the right direction! Finally, Fallen Angel, thank you for reviewing each chapter like that, it always warms me when someone does that!

THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH! You guys rock!


	6. Chapter Five: Sorceress

Dark's Burning Light Sorceress 

We were there for a long time while they stabilized my uncle's health.  He grew stronger, fortunately, but I was not allowed to leave.  I passed the time by making new cards, almost feeling at home most of the time.  I could feel the spirits of my ancestors in the halls, and they were welcoming me in a way my living relatives would not.  They saw me for who I was, not for how I looked or who my mother had married.  Things like that weren't as important to the dead as they were to the living.

People were curious about the cards I created, but I was unwilling to share with many of them the secrets I had.  It was too much power to place in the hands of any unscrupulous person who sought only power, so instead of showing off the fruits of my efforts I showed common tarot cards.  Even those were an object of fascination for many.  I had designed and drawn them myself as part of my training years ago, refining and understanding the symbology of the Kabbalah and how it was being tied in to the native European magical symbology.  The tarot cards were uniquely my own within the framework that had been laid down by many centuries of tradition.  

I didn't even think about jealousy and envy among those who were native to the area.  In my idle time I was robbing people of their livelihood without even thinking about it.  By telling fortunes on my own I had stepped on the toes of those already here.  This was made painfully clear one day as I sat beneath a towering tree and flipped idly through the simple tarot cards, contemplating the creation of my Return card.

"So, you're the one!"

I looked up, noticing her for the first time.  She had a powerful aura, clear and flowing like water, and I knew what her magical affinity was immediately.  "Hello.  To what do I owe the pleasure of meeting you?"

"Pleasure?"  Her voice was low, melodious, and yet threatening.  "This is hardly a pleasure, outsider.  What the hell are you doing here?!"

I frowned, confused.  "Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?"

"You've been telling fortunes here, with your pretty cards and your beautiful companions.  You give away for free what I must do to earn a living, and you have the nerve to ask me what's wrong?"

I couldn't even think of a way to apologize.  It had never crossed my mind that my idle fortune telling could have an impact on anyone other than the person I was sitting with at the time.  "I was just practicing, playing around a little with--"

"Your idle practice has taken all of my customers away!  I was making a comfortable and steady living by reading the currents of fate, and now I am in debt!  You come here with a flashy new method, and an outsider's view, and no people don't want to listen to me!  How dare you?  Why are you doing this to me?"

"I never meant--"

"You have ruined my life, Sorcerer Clow Reed!  You shall pay for insulting and robbing me!"

She didn't give me another chance.  She threw an attack directly at me, hoping to trap me in a sphere of water. 

It never touched me.

I dodged aside easily, pulling out the Watery card in one fluid motion and holding it before me like a shield.  I had only to invoke the spirit within the card and all of this girl's magic would be turned against her.  I hesitated though.  She wasn't a true match for me, and I did not want to--

Two ribbons suddenly snaked out from her flowing robes, wrapping tightly around my wrists.  It surprised me enough to make me drop the card.  Watery hovered before me, confused by what was going on, but unwilling to be released from card form without my command.

My two guardians were there immediately, Cerberus blasting a fiery warning shot at her feet, and Yue drawing his energy bow.  They both flanked me, glaring ominously and waiting for her to make another move.  "I would suggest you let me go; you don't know who you're dealing with."  My warning was calm, almost casual, and said in an even tone.

"It is you who do not know who you are dealing with."  The ribbons tightened for a moment, then withdrew.  "I will not forgive this, Clow Reed.  I will not forgive, and I will not give up.  I will not be beaten by you!"

She turned away, beaten for the moment, but still regal in defeat.  Her long hair flowed like a dark wave as she walked away, and I almost smiled.  I knew I would be seeing her again, and I knew she would not rest until she was confident she could beat me.  I would have to keep on my toes.

I casually sat back down, already planning attack and defense cards for her return.  Cerberus and Yue did not back down until she was no longer in sight.

It was then that I realized, she knew my name, but I had no idea what hers was.

~~~~~@~~~~~

"Sit down, Clow.  It's time for us to talk about the future."  My uncle sat in his room, still unable to stand, but strong enough now to carry the weight of responsibility for the Clan.

I did as I was told, bowing before I was seated.  Tea was set up between us...and I saw a proper English tea for the first time I had seen since I left home.  I was shocked and a little disturbed by this concession, wondering what would be requested...or expected...of me.

"I must have an heir, and you are my closest surviving male relative," he began as I poured the tea.  "The words we exchanged when you arrived here were said in a haze of pain and desperation, yet contain some truth.  I admire your dedication to duty, but you have no drive aside from your own selfish goals."  His thin lips twisted in a sardonic grin at this point.  "I should thank you for that.  It gave me extra motivation to remain in this world.  I could not hand the Clan over to someone who wouldn't care about it one way or the other except as an obligation."

I nodded carefully.  "Yes, that's the impression I had."

Uncle chuckled, clearly in better spirits now.  "You clearly have a different destiny ahead of you, Clow.  I shouldn't criticize you for that, much as I can't understand you.  Still, I hope that your selfish, idealistic nature is not passed down to my heir."  He blunted the impact of the statement with a smile.

Of course this was what the discussion was about.  What else would it be?  "There is no way you could father a child?"

His face darkened.  "There will never be seed again.  You must do this for me."

I still hesitated.  "So, I need to--"

"Are you still a child, Clow?  You must lay with my wife until she produces a son.  My heir must be strong with magic, and it would not do to have people know the child is not mine.  Can you do this?"

I nodded, slowly.

Could this day be any stranger?

~~~~~@~~~~~

"Clow?"

I nodded, distracted.  "What is it, Yue?"

"Tonight...could we...?"

I shook my head, still not paying attention.  "I have something that must be done."

"About that, I--"

He broke off suddenly, and I turned to look at him.  "Yue?"

"Nothing.  It's nothing."  He was looking out the window, looking more heartbroken than I could remember him being ever before.

"Yue, this is a duty I must do."  I crossed over to him, reaching out to him, but he pulled away.

"Don't touch me."  His eyes glittered, narrowing.

I drew back in shock.  He had never been angry with me before.  He had never expressed displeasure with me or argued with me, and the last thing I could imagine him doing was refusing my touch.

"At one time, you said you could not touch me if all you were to me was 'Master'."

His words hit me like a splash of cold water.  Was I treating him as less than human, by setting him aside like this?  Yes.  "It's only for procreation.  Yue, I love you.  But, it's my duty to help Uncle produce an heir."

"Yes, and I'm not standing in your way of performing your duty.  I can't compare to a human...to a woman...so when you have the chance you should take it."

That hurt worse than any physical blow.  I reached out to him again, but he pulled away again.  I grabbed his wrist, and he glared.  "Yue, stop."

"That's a command?"

"Yes."  My heart ran cold to use this power, but I could feel how this would get worse if I did not.

"What would you have of me, Master?"

I held his gaze steadily, refusing to flinch when I heard those words.  "You win.  I won't touch her.  I never want to hear you say such things again, I won't hear it.  You are perfection.  You are everything to me."  Now I held him close, pulling his head to my chest possessively, never wanting to let him go.  "I don't know what I'm going to do, but I can't do this to you.  To us.  To either of us."

"You didn't want to do this?"

"Not for a moment."

A growl came from the doorway, and Cerberus was looking at us, disgusted.  "Can't you two find somewhere else to be sappy and romantic?  I was trying to get some sleep."

I was on the verge of apologizing, but he shook his head.

"If you didn't want to do it in the first place, why did you play around like you wanted to?"

This made Yue glare at me once again, and I glared at my sun guardian in turn.  "Out of duty."

"The last time I checked, you were a sorcerer."

"What is your point, Cerberus?"

"Why can't you solve this with magic?"

"I don't know if I could...nothing like that has ever been done before."

"That didn't stop you from creating us, or the cards!"

I stopped suddenly, realizing that he was completely right.  Why hadn't I thought of this in the first place?  I had made Yue suffer needlessly, and I had put Uncle in an uncomfortable position as well.  "I will talk to Uncle about it.  If it can be done this way, I will do all I can.  I'm sorry for hurting you, my angel."

Cerberus groaned and rolled his eyes, muttering again about romantic sappy stuff, but that just meant things were back to normal.  The look in Yue's eyes spoke of more love than hurt once again.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Uncle was more grateful than I can express here.  The spell took a lot of work, and though I could still not give him a direct descendent I could give him an heir without breaking Yue's heart.  The spell took longer to create and plan than it should have though.

I had many distractions and interruptions.

I didn't mention my meeting with the water sorceress at first to anyone.  It was my own business, and I believed I should be the one to clean up my own messes.  I was confident in my ability to deal with her one way or another, so I didn't even think to speak of the incident.  I would have been more prepared for what happened next if I had.

It was the middle of the night when I rolled over to a rapidly cooling empty space beside me.  There was still some warmth left where Yue had been, but that was incidental.  _He_ was gone, and that's all that mattered.  My eyes were wide open in an instant, and I was reaching for my cards and rolling out of bed in one fluid movement.  If I hadn't, I may have been taken as well.

Familiar white ribbons hit the bed where my neck and right hand had been a moment before.  My hand failed to make contact with my cards on the bedside table, and a quick glance confirmed that they had been taken as well.  I fell into a defensive crouch beside the bed, looking around the room for my attacker.

She hovered over the foot of my bed, about six inches above the mattress.  I could see a maniacal grin on her face, though her eyes were hidden by her bangs.  "I warned you, Clow Reed, but you are still here.  Are you stubborn, or just stupid?"

I smiled as I pulled my key from around my neck.  "Maybe both, maybe neither.  I have stopped telling fortunes though, shouldn't that be enough?"

"Enough?" she shrieked.  "It's too late for such small measures!  People still will not come to me, and my debts are increasing!  I am barely keeping my home, and food is becoming harder to find, and you think I will be happy with such a paltry measure?  If you don't leave Hong Kong I will destroy your accursed cards, I will obliterate your guardians, and then I will kill you!"

"I can't do that," I said gently, but with determination.

"You have one day to change your mind, Sorcerer Clow Reed."

She threw a shimmering globe of water filled with attack magic of the strongest sort.  I barely managed to transform my key into the sun staff to block it before it hit me.  Even still, the backlash stunned me and threw me into the wall.  In that amount of time she managed to escape cleanly, and I could find no trace of her, the cards, or my guardians.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Author's note:  This is the part where you scream at me and threaten to kill me through the computer screen for ending it like this, right?  Especially since I take so long to update this story.  ~hides~

Well...does it help that I have already started on the next chapter?  Please, don't lynch me yet!  If you guys kill me, I'll *never* get this done!  ~laughs~

Let's see...the great list!  I would like to thank each and every person who has reviewed this: Fallen Angel, Kira, Rei Eien, Peacewish, L-chan, Violintide, Forsaken Tenshi, Askani Blue, Dark Ice Angel, Legolas, and Phantom.  Popularity seems to be picking up on this story.  Yay!  I'll try *very* hard to post faster, but I have several different projects going on at once, and inspiration seems to be hard to come by on this.  No matter how long it takes to update between chapters though, please know that I will not abandon this fic!  I promise!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you again next chapter.


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